i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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