it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
