Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize