So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Randomize
