dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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