Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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