she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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