We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
