Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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