she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
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There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
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PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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