is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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