Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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