I think I died a long time ago.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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