I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize