Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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