he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
