oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
