i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
