At least make sure they are 18
Why
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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