He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize