belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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