Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
