its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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