why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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