would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I didn't notice because vodka
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
