using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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