Having a random hookup so left but love u
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
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