my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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