goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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