Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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