I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
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Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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