Pants 0. Shit 1.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
