I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
