He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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