Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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