I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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