Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
