using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
