can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
