sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I would fuck him just for his dog
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