i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
