I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
