did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
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