I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
