If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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