Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
