I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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