after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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