Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
