i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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