Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
