Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Sober January is a disaster.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
