i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
