So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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