Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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