end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
third nipple confirmed
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
